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Our place of work is where we spend a very large percentage of our working lives so inevitably any type of conflict at work can be emotionally and physically draining.

Conflict is an inevitable product of any interpersonal relationship. Whether the shouting match, bickering, icy silence or cold shouldering is taking place between spouses, partners or between fellow workers you always have a choice, either to become entrenched in your position, allowing the conflict to reach an inevitable conclusion or try to diffuse the situation. Allowing the conflict to reach its inevitable conclusion might give your pride what it wants but the emotional cost can be substantial. Alternatively dismounting from your high horse might be difficult at first but it in the long term it can be less stressful and emotionally draining.

When the conflict is at work the repercussions go beyond the merely personal. They can also affect productivity and efficiency. Consequently, tension and conflict in the workplace require robust resolution measures, as the problem will in all probability, grow and not just disappear!

If there is tension between colleagues at work, apart from the emotional toll on the individuals involved, the consequences can be detrimental to both the workforce and the employer. It can damage teamwork, prevent the workforce from attaining set goals and generally escalate out of control. Conversely, if managed well conflict can be one of the drives for improved team performance.

Below are 10 tips for managing conflict in the working environment

1. The reasons for conflict between workers are plenty. They can range from a misunderstanding to dislike or simply be the result of stress and an excessive workload. Whatever the reason, communication is essential. Do not ignore your grievances or ‘sweep them under the carpet’, they will not disappear of their own accord – face them head on as the situation will deteriorate if not addressed.
2. Choose the best time to approach your boss or fellow worker. Don't do so at the height of a stress filled day or after an all night meeting. Approach him or her when you see that they are relaxed and when you know that they are in the right frame of mind.
3. Control your emotions and behaviour. When you are in control of your emotions, you can communicate your requirements, without aggression and without upsetting colleagues or making unreasonable demands from them.
4. Deal with the issues and not with the people. Don't make it personal.
5. Really listen to what the other side is saying, apply listening skills and seek clarifications before responding.
6. Place yourself in the other person’s shoes? Why did he act the way he did? What was her motivation? This will help you look at the problem impartially. Could it all be your fault?
7. Don't hesitate to apologise if necessary for your part in the conflict. This will help diffuse a high tension meeting.
8. If talking to the person concerned does not resolve the issue consider enlisting the services of a neutral manager to resolve the conflict. An impartial middleman can help bring the parties to compromise.
9. Alternatively you might want to seek the advice of your union representative or of an outside source such as ACAS (Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service) which helps improve organisations and working life through better employment relations. ACAS is funded by the Department for Business Innovation & Skills but it is a non-departmental body, governed by an independent Council and is independent, impartial and confidential.
10. Although it is always preferable to deal with conflict at source and to settle things amicably, take care to keep records of all events, including dates, times, letters, emails in case you need them as evidence.

If the conflict does not concern you, be impartial and do not personally become involved. Avoid talking on a one to one basis with the persons concerned and avoid gossip which will only exacerbate the situation. If you are a manager it might be a good idea to implement team building days, either at work or ideally away from the workplace. Why not introduce 'Dress down Fridays' by not adhering to a strict dress code one day a week the workers of employees feel more relaxed and look forward to the weekend!

Bear in mind that we all spend a large percentage of our lives working. Workplace conflict is a fact of life so do not bear a grudge. If however, despite all your efforts the situation does not improve it might be a sign that you have to move on to pastures new.